Ericksonian Language Patterns and Poetry

We are thrilled and grateful to feature on our web site, www.Ericksonian.info, a wonderful contribution by world-renowned poet, David Whyte. It is his poem “SOMETIMES” from the collection, “Everything is Waiting for You.” You can read the poem here: http://www.ericksonian.info/SOMETIMES.html

IN REGARD TO THE POETRY OF DAVID WHYTE

A few years ago, while conducting a class on Ericksonian Hypnosis, I was struck by the poetry of the words in a good trance induction. That, when intoned with close attention to the meaning and sound of the words, the phrasing and the intentional ambiguities, the words that were spoken were like poetry. This excited me because I’d always loved poetry but never felt able to create it myself.

I began to use snippets of poems I knew, like from e.e.cummings, in trance inductions with clients and got wonderful results.

Then I was introduced to the poetry of David Whyte while on a personal journey of my own. The first thing I ever heard of his was a tape recording of an interview David gave called “The Power and Place of Poetry” wherein he says, “the poet is a person who tries to say ‘it’ whatever ‘it’ is at any one time.” (How perfect! How very much exactly what an Ericksonian hypnotist is trying to do.) He describes how poetry, like James Hillman’s philosophy about modern psychotherapy, brings a more mythological perspective to the human experience as opposed to the more “finding-out-what’s-broken” of traditional therapy. (How very similar to Erickson’s utilization principle.)

In this same interview, while talking about the human need to connect with our soul, he talks about taking poetry into the business world. I was amazed he was able to really find a connection to soul in what some regard as the most soul-less of places, the modern business corporation. In the course of his talk David would recite one of his or someone else’s poems - he seems to have countless poems memorized - and I was again amazed, this time at his style of reciting. He would often repeat lines or whole sections of the poem before continuing on in the poem, calling the listener’s attention to the beauty of he words and the imagery and feelings they evoked.

Since then I have read and reread the poetry of David Whyte hundreds of times, privately and in classes that I’ve taught. I always find myself taken in by the depth and the beauty of his work.

I am honored that he offered the poem “SOMETIMES” to our web site. I invite you to read it, be moved by it, or not. Reread it in whole and in part, and to get curious as to how you can use poetry in your work and in your life. Further explore the beautiful and wonderful world of his work at his web site, www.davidwhyte.com

According to Carl Jung, the single, most important goal for any human being is the quest for individuation.

To Jung “individuation” means becoming an in-dividual, not-divided from the self, yet not possessed by either. We could call it self-realization. Individuation must not be confused with individualism, which over-looks collective factors and seeks some peculiarity valued by the ego. Jung sees individuation a never-ending process of differentiation and integration which repeats itself on higher and higher planes. Perhaps analogous to a spiral.

Over a weekend in November a few beautiful and brave souls joined me for an adventure I call, “How Deep the Rabbit Hole - Further Adventures in Neo-Ericksonian Hypnosis.” The class was held at an appropriately named space in Manhattan called “The Sacred Center.”

This weekend featured a variety of trance experiences and explorations, including Mandala drawing and contemplation, Shamanic Journeys guided by Dr. Laurie Nadel, Tai Chi explorations guided by Aruba Griot Roberto Sharpe, Poetry, Trance Dancing and advanced teaching on Hypnotic Language, Metaphors, Metafives and Multiple Embedded Metaphors.

Throughout it all was a direction toward individuation. Poems and stories illuminating this, readings from Jung, and quotes of Jesus, Einstein and other significant teachers.

If any one quote exemplified our weekend’s theme, it was from Jesus as quoted in the Gospel according to Thomas, from the Gnostic Gospels. In it, Jesus is quoted as saying the following:

If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.

Another beautiful quote from the poet David Whyte from his poem Sweet Darkness is:

You must learn one thing.

The world was made to be free in.

Give up all the other worlds

except the one to which you belong.

And lastly, one of my favorite quotes, from Albert Einstein:

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all the art and science. He to whom the emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand wrapped in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed. The insight into the mystery of life, coupled though it may be with fear, has given rise to religion. To know what is impenetrable to us really exists, manifesting itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty, which our dull faculties can comprehend only in their most primitive forms - this feeling is at the center of true religiousness.

Ericksonian Hypnotic Language Patterns

Milton Erickson is quoted as having said to one of his patients:

“We all have potentials we are unaware of, and we usually don’t know how they will be expressed.

He also said to an assembly of therapists attending a training seminar:

“He doesn’t know what he is learning, but he is learning. And it isn’t right for me to tell him, ‘You learn this or you learn that!’ let him learn what he wishes, in what ever order he wishes.”

Open-ended suggestions are essentially universal suggestions that would work for just about anybody. Fortunetellers often use them in a way that is sometimes referred to as cold reading. Take, as an example, the statement “you don’t live up to your potential.” This is more true for some of us than for others, but it is true for all of us. So when a fortuneteller reads our palm and looks into our eyes and says, “Mmm… You were given many gifts you that have lain undeveloped, have you not?” It rings true because it is.

In the quotes above from Milton Erickson, he was making use of the same phenomenon. If you ever get a chance to watch the famous “Monde and Nick” video of Dr. Erickson demonstrating therapy with two different individuals, you’ll see/hear a great deal of this type of suggestion taking place in the second part of the video. This is because in part two Dr. Erickson is working primarily with Nick whom he has just met. He knows nothing about Nick except some very general information, so he gives very general, open-ended suggestions.

Let me put on my turban now… as you read this sentence, I can tell what you are thinking… You are realizing that you have not been fully taking advantage of this learning opportunity offered you. You can learn so much more. You could utilize and become greatly proficient with these language patterns, couldn’t you? You can imagine yourself taking a notebook and writing out some of your own examples and then using them with actual people. Because you know, the more you use them, the better you get with them.

AND you will.

Milton Erickson was famous for his use of stories as a therapeutic intervention. He would sometimes tell quite long rambling stories and sometimes confusing stories. There is much to be learned from his stories and much to be learned about his method of using stories. Wonderful books and articles about this subject have been written. For the most part, the language patterns we’ve been looking at in these pages were used to enhance how the stories were being delivered.For our purposes right now, however, we’re just going to focus on his use of seemingly offhand, everyday, brief analogies he would use to illustrate his points. Although highly educated, rarely did he speak in medical jargon or technical descriptions. He very much preferred the more colorful and interesting analogy.

“You think you cannot control pain, but every dentist can tell you how easily patients lose their toothaches on the way to the dental office.”

When asked about techniques for weight loss, Erickson replied, “How do you climb Squaw Peak? One step at a time.”

And you, dear reader, are probably wondering how you can become more expert in the use of language patterns in general and analogies in particular. It’s like what the New York cop said when asked how do you get to Carnegie Hall?

“Practice, practice, practice.”

Ericksonian Hypnotic Language Patterns
As pointed out by Dr. Robert Cialdini is his excellent book “Influence,” the word ‘because’ has an almost magical persuasive effect on people. It lends emotional credibility to whatever goes before it.

“You can use this pattern and have a tremendous effect, because people love to hear reasons for things.”

“You may find that it is easy to learn to use this pattern because ‘because’ is so powerful it almost doesn’t matter what you say afterwards.” (Really. See the section in “Influence” about this. It’s remarkable.)

A. As a strong closing, add a ‘because’ on the end of a double bind.

“I don’t know if you’ll want to stop smoking now or if you’ll want to stop in the morning, because this important development is really between you and your own unconscious mind.”

It further strengthens a because if you can successfully relate it to the person’s values. i.e. have a reason that really is important to them. As an example, if you know that the person you’re dealing with places a high value on freedom, you could say something like, “…because its your freedom that’s really on the line. (The freedom to live a long and healthy life, etc.)”

So now, I would like to suggest, like I do every week, that you stop now and write out your own examples of this language patterns and then use them in your real life today and tomorrow. Because I know you really want to gain fluency with these skills, don’t you? And, of course, the more you write them and the more you use them, the better you’ll get at them.

Have fun.

Ericksonian Hypnotic Language Patterns

Double binds are sentences that suggest your listener to do one of two things. This, however, is actually an illusion of choice because either choice is in the direction you want them to go.

As an example, if you say to your client,

“Would you like to enter trance now or would you like to try to keep your eyes open for a little longer while that delightful sense of comfort continues to fill your body?”

either way they choose to go leads them into trance.

Here is a classic example from the on-going trance world called parenting:

“Child, do you want to go to bed now or watch 5 minutes more of your video before you go to bed?”

Milton Erickson is quoted as having said to a client:

“I think your unconscious mind knows more about this than your conscious mind does, and if your unconscious mind knows more about this than your conscious mind does, then you probably know more about this than you think you do.”

Now, you can continue reading and learn more or you can write your own examples.

Someone once said repetition is the Mother of skill. Someone else said “Practice Makes Permanent.” How did your review go from last week?   We’ve now learned a dozen language patterns. That’s quite a lot, really. You know, if you were to take a therapeutic metaphor and figure out how to insert each of the patterns you’ve learned so far into it you might be pleased at how much it adds, or not. The only way to know for sure would be to test it out.

That reminds me of a story…